


Letting Go

by LilyAnson



Series: Writer's Block [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Character Death, Established Relationship, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, One Shot, Sad, Spoilers: Season 12 Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 06:25:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10985232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyAnson/pseuds/LilyAnson
Summary: Sam has a nightmare and wakes up only to have to say goodbye once again.





	Letting Go

_“Where do I even start to look for forgiveness?”_

_“You’re my Marnie Moose.”_

_“I deserve to be loved!”_

_“You need to take control Sam.”_

Instantly Sam was sitting straight up and breathing heavily. He turned quickly and felt the other side of the bed. He knew what he’d find even before he checked. As it was every time before, the bed was empty. Sam felt the familiar emptiness settling in once again. It was the same every time. He would have a dream so real it almost seemed as if Crowley was there but when he woke Crowley was still gone. Still dead. 

Laying back down Sam pulled the other pillow closer and curled up around it. Crowley might have started out as a demon but he had become so much more during the time they had known him. When he’d almost cured Crowley the demon hadn’t been able to handle the human emotions he found himself feeling all of a sudden. When he’d professed his love to Sam, Sam had doubted his sincerity. It wasn’t until Crowley had called them months later and confessed that he was still injecting himself with blood just to cling onto his emotions for Sam that he began to believe the demon.

Against his better judgement and Dean’s wishes Sam had brought Crowley back to the bunker. They’d cautiously danced around each other from the very beginning. Crowley would make tentative, cautious declarations. Sam would analyze every word and action looking for the smallest lie or deceit. After several months he was forced to admit Crowley seemed honest in his desire to be with Sam. As bad as it made him feel, especially now, it wasn’t until Crowley jumped in front of Dean to keep him from being hurt that Sam started to truly trust him. After that they’d started dating. Dean still hadn’t liked the idea but even he had grudgingly agreed that it seemed like Crowley truly had turned over a new leaf.

Two and a half years is all they’d gotten. After everything Crowley had survived Sam was ashamed to admit he’d begun to think of Crowley as invincible. When even Amara hadn’t been able to kill Crowley Sam allowed himself to get complacent. He had never envisioned his demon would die one day. Even if he had pictured it he would never have guessed that Crowley would have died by his own hand. Sam realized that thought should have entered his mind the very instant Crowley had told him the spell required a life to function. His only excuse was that he’d been so worried about Dean he hadn’t been able to give Crowley’s words much thought. No matter how long he lived he would never forget either the look in Crowley’s eyes in those last few moments or those last two words. 

_“Bye boys.”_

“Goodbye Crowley,” Sam whispered as a single tear trickled down his cheek.


End file.
